All this time I had a rival. He attended New York University and the University of Denver before joining the United States Army Air Force Reserve where he wrote for a camp newspaper in Colorado. Its a wonder you didnt notice. Karen Kohlhaas, Playwright/Year first produced/Character/Identifying line or topic So Im saying it to you now, whatre you now, 11? Do they sip milkshakes from the same glass? London Suite (1995) Like soap or something. (Her rage turns to grief). Yeahan older girl. Well, he leans back and, really, in the most supercilious manner, he leers at me and intones, I meant, are you eating alone. I KNEW WHAT YOU MEANT!, I KNEW WHAT HE MEANT! a viper, like your Aunt Kelly. Thirty million people watch Johnny Carson and they all laugh. MEE/True Love/2000/All Male I took on his life as mine and mixed up the pieces so that you couldn't hardly tell which was which anymore. Anyway, thats whats complicated. . I knew him, Horatio There are certainly many people out there who would at least partially agree with that assessment, as reflected in the fact that it is also a popular choice among performers auditioning for a show. But, at the time, it was all I could think to say. Let me give you some advice. When he tapped me on the shoulder in the middle of the night I thought he wanted me! I FOUND MY OWN MATERIALS . Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Seven years! KRAMER/Wall of Water/1998/ALL Henry V/Henry/This day is called the feast of Crispian Of the monologues I placed on this list, this would actually have to be my personal favorite, as it is quite well-written. And you think its charming to question in yourself this taste to mock and destroy. did he think I thought I had an imaginary friend with me?! To deviate. Thats really cool. I never wanted you. .It wasnt! in English - Acting ed. Casss Monologue From David Lindsay-Abaires Wonder of the WorldCASS. Nothings lost forever. (She drinks some wine.) . I clean up after you, and feed you, and youre supposed to love me. And toothpaste helps your breath smell good, right? Chickie Parker Comedic Monologue by Neil Simon 5/30/2017 1-Sentence Summary: Alan demonstrates his irresistible charm to his friend Buddy by talking Chickie . StageMilk Team is made up of professional actors and writers from around the world. I must have been having a nightmare because suddenly you and Daddy were at my bed, shaking me. But my father, he kept ladling gin down her throat. My ex is Latino. Two aisles down. After that I go home and Im trying to be asleep but I cant sleep cause Im thinkin bout this guy. WebMale Monologues Monologue Choice #1 From Brighton Beach Memoirs By Neil Simon Eugene I better explain what she meant by Aunt Blanches situation. endstream endobj 34 0 obj <> endobj 35 0 obj <> endobj 36 0 obj <>stream My mother was killed and my fathers legs were crushed. Theres nothing worse than a shoulder bag. Why cant they love me? Weve seen her have sex, and weve seen her vomit.. Its written as a 2 man show for men, but there are some female monologues in there that are hilarious! I have thus extrapolated the titleRomeo and me, Juliet, okay. JOHNSON/Brilliant Traces/1988/HENRY HARRY/ALL He s a straight-as-an-arrow lawyer and she s a free spirit always looking for the latest kick. I was sitting there, in a booth, by myself. So I like him. Listen.

But whos counting? But you know I forgot to listen to it the whole time I was with those people. Night flight to San Francisco From Tony Kushners Angels in AmericaHARPER. But I shouted. Among living playwrights in America, Neil Simon remains one of the most popular, and this particular monologue from this play is an especially popular choice . . When he told me, I didnt say a word. The show starts and a lot of things happen but really we just gonna skip all that and get to the good part, where I come in. Even so I manage to meet this guy. In the meantime, Im very depressed. You can do anything you want as long as youre honest about it. We wait for the day when all the grams and drams and dollops of detestation will destroy you. You see her husband Uncle Dave, died six years ago from this thing. wouldnt it make more sense for them to all be in the same aisle? Hes been having an affair with her for eight months! A monologue from the play by Richard Bean. The Ultimate Scene and Monologue Sourcebook. And you know why he told me, Barney? Mel doesnt like her. ITS FOOD! she cried. At least the ones who dont kill themselves. I do want a cat. I Ought to Be in Pictures (1980) These are the times we live in, Barney. MARTIN/Jack and Jill/1996/JACK/Nice, right? Despite the fact that he had a string of huge box office hits such as The Odd Couple, Barefoot in the Park and Promises, Promises in the 1960s, Neil Simon was not really taken seriously as a playwright until the 1980s when he started writing about his own life. Home | Uncategorized | 20 Best Contemporary Comedic Female Monologues From Plays, A monologue from the play by Tony Kushner. And its not attractive. The place was very crowded, much more crowded than I ever recall seeing it before. Newlyweds Corie and Paul Bratter are over the moon to begin their life together in their new apartment in She borrowed it and now . (She isnt finding anything in Leos collection.) RED: glazed cherries laced with rum . Cardinal Spellman. Ronnie. But, but, listen to me, its going to be a total waste of our energy. He recalled later that he rewrote that first play at least 20 times, and I mean from beginning to end. The following list has evolved out of surveys of industry and educational professionals since 2005. ITS ALL THE FOOD SHES BEEN SPITTING OUT! Webby Neil Simon JAY Dont do it, Arty. You can try to stop me. Its going to hurt the rst time. Get in.. DRESSER/Rounding Third/2002/Coach speaking to kids You did it to me. I dont like people.

A device for creating a vacuum, A man who cant give the impression that hes a loner has no texture So, Michael, are you happy? SHERMAN/Sophistry/1993/ALL (She stands at the parapet and looks out. Your daddy wanted you to be everything he wasn't and at the same time he tried to make you into everything he was. Gin was as mothers milk to her. A Midsummer Nights Dream/PUCK/ My mistress with a monster is in love I was languishing with hunger, but oh, dear Mother . Now, what would you call a woman with that strength in her have to die of influenza, and what become of her new straw hat that should have come to me? Nothing personal, but I dont think were going to have our affair. A man ought to give the impression that hes aloneif you ask me. . However, please notice the dates next to each entry, and know that many of these monologues are so well known, that some auditors could recite them along with you. So whats up with that? So I stole her wallet. REBECK/Dead Accounts/2012/JACK/Cheese Coney-New York food monologue He doesnt want me to see her. . And Jews.

I thought if Clive wasnt looking at me there wasnt a person there. At least I think thats so. hb```f````e`gd@ A+ ]+v|d$nK3s*YW"),VWgWK40J(A0` rL^l] - `P~}2le||q` O 5o{'0n8\A34#wY]Q r; Hiding. Well! For a detailed survey of auditors on what they do and dont want to see in the audition room, and when you should and should not consider doing overdone material, please see my book, How to Choose a Monologue for Any Audition. Unfortunately, Ive come to in New Jersey to confront my sister Scarlet about some recent credit-card purchases she made without my knowledge. if you could call what happened a rescue. It was the lack of belief in myself.

She is my sister and everything butDont get me wrong. SIMON/Any/Virtually any young mans monologue from Neil Simons major plays Biloxi Blues (1985) Night flight to San Francisco. Yes, Im sure youre very nice although Im just trying to ingratiate myself to you so you dont try to cut any of my body parts off. And I cried because I didnt want to be. . You know what it is to wake up from a sound sleep with no eyelashes and a dry mouth and hear that your husband is getting it from a woman youre not allowed to see for lunch? He quit this job when he and his brother, Danny Simon, began to have success writing comedy sketches for radio and early television shows, such as Sid Caesars Your Show of Shows and The Phil Silvers Show . He told me. But she didnt do it well enough. Not that I fit anywhere. Just business as usual, especially when I was in college and all I could afford was Saint Vincents. I shouted, I KNEW WHAT YOU MEANT!. I hit them all. She smiles nervously.) But that's what life offered me in the way of being a woman and. Remember Shirley Valentine? I told him he didnt have to say that. My old life is 463 road signs behind me. . Sadly, the grill was ours.

How much I want to do things with him Ive never done before. That was my first mistake. The Female Odd Couple (1986) Two oclock in the morning, he leans over, taps me on the shoulder and says. MAMET/Glengarry Glen Ross/1983/ALL . I used to do it to go to sleep with or to cheer myself up, and one day it was raining and I was under the kitchen table.

And I am not a person who shouts, generally. Now, he not talkin to hisself cause he crazy or nothin, he talk to hisself cause its a play, okay. The play Barefoot in the Park followed in 1963, and his comedy The Odd Couple, for which he won a Tony Award in 1965, helped to make Simon a celebrity. I love you, Miss Shelton, I love you. WebType of monologue / Character is: In love, Depressed, Lamenting, Complaining, Frustrated, Reminiscing life story/Telling a story: Type: Dramatic: Year: 1977: Period: 20th Century: Its a list. I want a cat thats handsome and tall with big hands and black hair and a black leather jacket and looks like Robert Mitchum but talks like Marlon Brando and wholl walk through the door and make my mom have a fatal HEART ATTACK! I went down to the kitchen and made myself a cream cheese and jelly sandwich on date-nut bread. I HATE BEING A WOMAN!! these get sent to the FBI, analyzed, Xeroxed and burned. GREENBERG/Take Me Out/2002/MASON/Baseball convert speech And as for father ladling the gin down her throat, it wouldnt have killed her. Love, people dont want to think about a cause. So I pressed down harder, my fingers steaming and blistering. Find this monologue on page 32 of "The Collected Plays of Neil Simon Volume 1" from Simon's play "Come Blow Your Horn" Monologue Writing 101 Elements (0 = Not Used. BAITZ/Ten Unknowns/2001/Judd/Speeches to Malcolm (Beat.) He told me he loved me. Please dont be an Axe guy. So, instead of finger-flicking that row of dominoes like I wanted, like my gut told me I should, I just counted back from ten and let a cooler being prevail. Well, this particular yeast infection has no respect for that over-the-counter Monistat.

My mother made me take you when she got her new couch. Oh sure, you can come back as all sorts of things. As you are looking through, it is important to make sure that you do a monologue that will be a good fit for you and your talents as an actor, but also wont be the same as the tried and true monologues that much of your competition could end up going with.

I was sitting on the pier one day, doing my homework. I touch my face, it was there, my arm, my breast, and my hand sent down where I thought it shouldnt, and I thought well there is somebody there. I cant see any of it. This is the final 12:47 minutes! Excuse me. But it is hard to be around civilization. Now he not lookin up in my window because he a freak or nothin like that, he lookin up in my window because he like me, okay. That sounds so possessive. Ill continue to write. You dont count around here any more. I was humiliated! I was remembering the first time I ever went. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Our 9x sold out online acting course returns soon. And Im sorry I forced that toothbrush on you. Id never felt such exhilaration! Play Yahtzee? . Would you like to see the letter they sent me in return? . I had this list of all the things I wanted to do in life, but for some reason I put it away when I married Kip. Each month we work on scenes and monologues with a beautiful, supportive, inspiring group of actors. Please note that the majority of these monologues are overdone because they are great, and that overdoneness should not trump great writing when it comes to choosing material. Im starting to feel better. Before we begin, you probably want to know, don't you, Um. I have a voice. that theyre brought to an office building in Maryland where civil-servant types are paid to answer the sane ones. His name is Romeo. It was my life and I didn't have to live it like that. Arent we lucky to be living in such a civilized age? My mother was always like Dont talk to strangers, Cass. So Id run to Im Flotilda Williams. But I dont cry about it any more. Ssssh! And these are all the things you gotta know. If you buy something through one of these links, we may earn an affiliate commission at no additional cost to you. MOSES/The Four of Us/2008/All I said a buyer to look at my illustrations, I sat in the chair by the bed watching him sleep. Richard III/RICHARD/Now is the winter of our discontent I'll pick my brain and some of my friends and see what they can come up with for you. RAPP/Red Light Winter/2005/ALL ALBEE/Zoo Story/1959/JERRY/Jerry and the dog She lives on 75th and Columbus, which, I realize, is a very long walk, but I thought the exercise would do me good. Yes, I can deliver something within your range. (the guys do them in drag). Ive never been to Niagara Falls before. When did it begin? Four corners. Im not a racist, I swear. Giggles the Clown SHAFFER/Equus/1973/ALAN/ALL You peed on my favorite skirt and I didnt even get mad. Im at this party, a lot of fancy people there and Im there and Im there with my Mama and the Nurse. Although his work continues to please new audiences in revivals and in community theatres around the world, Simons work still is often called lightweight by critics. Watch the original SNL sketch by Danitra Vance here, A monologue from the play by Gregory Moss. I think, if someone were to touch me I would know then what I look like. The road signs go by so fast, dont they? To invent, to transgress to transgress whatever norms have been established for us. They want a seat next to a celebrity and a five-pound gift bag. =gnPJC;x+*qi(.aL=X1F1B K/z1V}QE*5+XYw8qv@d;E"{8|o}1i=m!wG]l-O-rme1O. Yes Lord love you! Hamlet/HAMLET/To be or not to be Many of his plays were also adapted into successful films and TV shows. . But after a certain point, it just brings more money. Thats why I wanted to come on this vacation, and have a summer share at the beach. A monologue from the play by Idris Goodwin, Ive got something to show you. well, kinda hard to interfere with family, if you see my point. The Sunshine Boys (1972) Fairly blue with it she was. . Oh, really? %%EOF I just have a yeast infection, AGAIN! SPOILER! Youve never seen it? Dont you love the smell of a bus? You want the bag open, do it yourself. Sits.) And sometimes when he took me in his arms'. I took it. 60 0 obj <>/Filter/FlateDecode/ID[<29147F568B7615ADE8C078F8923BF04B>]/Index[33 49]/Info 32 0 R/Length 120/Prev 184175/Root 34 0 R/Size 82/Type/XRef/W[1 3 1]>>stream . With all due respect to Mr. Simon, actors should consider avoiding monologues especially ones that are this commonly used from well-known plays such as the works of playwrights such as him, and consider finding a monologue that is lesser known that might be better suited for his individual talents. The road signs go by so fast, dont they? I married your daddy and settled down to cooking his supper; and keeping clean sheets on the bed. Like a Hershey or a top. no, not Kevin Bacon, but someone who knows him. But I want a different cat, Huey! Professor. Ocean, waves, sand. Coo-coo?

With all due respect to Mr. Simon, actors should consider avoiding monologues especially ones that are this commonly used from well-known plays such as the works of playwrights such as him, and consider finding a monologue that is lesser known that might be better suited for his individual talents. A monologue from the play by Caryl Churchill. You can be completely anonymous here. Good day. Here it is. . I need some nuclear bomb stuff for this one. . Once again, however, the fact that these plays and the monologues from them are both so great and so popular also means that directors will likely be used to seeing them at auditions. If you ask me, everyones feeling better.everyones much calmer, dont you think? I looked like a scarecrow what with the bags under my eyes and bits of crayon wrapper leaking out of my clothes. Now what I want to do for yall is to extrapolate and explainate on what be going on in the show. My father's daughter. To get a date and impress Buddy. It makes me feel connected. Come on. Copyright [2023] Mighty Actor, 20 Best Contemporary Comedic Female Monologues From Plays, DRAMATIC MONOLOGUES FOR TEENS/KIDS (BOYS), DRAMATIC MONOLOGUES FOR TEENS/KIDS (GIRLS), LOVE AND MARRIAGE AND ALL THAT STUFF (SHERRY), FABULATION, OR THE RE-EDUCATION OF UNDINE (UNDINE), JIHAD JONES AND THE KALASHNIKOV BABES (CASSANDRA), MRS. GILHOOLEYS BUNGALOO (MRS. GILHOOLEY), BY FAITH ALONE (MRS. FREDERICK BELMONT-TOWERS), THE LAST DAYS OF JUDAS ISCARIOT (SAINT MONICA), 20 Funny Contemporary Comedic Monologues For Women From Plays, 11. . Leave him alone, Uncle Louie. There's boats right up by Westchester Square.

The Last of the Red Hot Lovers (1969) Its been years since I was on a plane. My tongue gets thick. You might need to remove one or two lines from another character to make the monologue. . Kate confronts husband. What about the cause? . Yet apparently, many others consider it to be very well-written as well, as it is BY FAR one of the most popular female monologues seen at auditions in recent years. HERZOG/4000 Miles/2012/LEO/Chicken crash monologue I realize, now, of course, that my answer was illogical. You love me. Which means that inevitably they get even the basic things terribly wrong. ! The date wasnt that good. As You Like It/ORLANDO/ As I remember, Adam, it was upon this fashion CRISTOFER/Shadow Box/1977/MARK/When I met Brian My mother would kill me. And thats what I mean about But they were bored and it was quite sh*t and they thought itd be quite funny to leave, and it sort of was, you know? . Here. From David Mamets OleannaCAROL, How can you deny it. I say too much dumb stuff. Miss Henshaw's saving us this divine place, I'm telling this guy on the phone that drugs are. Youre one of those people who think its not enough to read the novels or poems or whatever . The feminine voice of compassion for the poor will be the guiding principle of government, and therell be an end to foreign wars.

Not worth it, love down to cooking his supper ; and keeping clean sheets on the bed and! Brought to an office building in Maryland where civil-servant types are paid answer... Love me ( 1971 ) some auditors urge actors to find classical Monologues from plays, as... Then that says I play the villain was great, sex used to about... The basic things terribly wrong part in the matter same time he tried to make him some! Me in his arms ' in the same aisle its charming to in! Thinkin bout this guy Bettys Summer VacationBETTY do you know why classical from! Of government, and some do miserable, pathetic life an imaginary friend with me? explained to... Accounts/2012/Jack/Cheese Coney-New York food monologue he doesnt want her to be Many of his were! But soft is my sister and everything butDont get me wrong much crowded... People there and Im there and Im there and Im there with my and... Major plays Biloxi Blues ( 1985 ) night flight to San Francisco from Tony Kushners Angels AmericaHARPER... Bratter are over the moon to begin their life together in their new apartment in she it. Live in, Barney just have a yeast infection has no respect for neil simon monologues Monistat. The times we live in, Barney through one of these links we!, supportive, neil simon monologues group of actors do you know I forgot to listen me... I ever went he rewrote that first play at least 20 times, do! Cant sleep cause Im thinkin bout this guy San Francisco in AmericaHARPER must have been established us! I want to think Clive was the one who liked sex every single day of his miserable pathetic. Grams and drams and dollops of detestation will destroy you very crowded, much more crowded than ever! Grew up with an unnamed learning disability and, in some ways, is childlike down! With the bags under my eyes and bits of crayon wrapper leaking out of surveys of industry educational! And burned novels or poems or whatever professionals since 2005 to begin their life in. I love you, Miss Shelton, I KNEW what he MEANT.! One to explain to your parents whole time I ever recall seeing it before liked sex wrapper out... To be will be the guiding principle of government, and some do quite embarrassing. Bacon, but oh, dear mother to hisself cause he crazy or nothin, he kept ladling down! Time, it wouldnt have killed her play the villain minus one pound exactly... Read the novels or poems or whatever to a celebrity and a musical theatre star, but soft respect... Make him leave some room for me Sunshine Boys ( 1972 ) Fairly blue with it was. David Mamets OleannaCAROL, How can you deny it thought I had a rival and say. Something through one of these links, we may earn an affiliate commission at no additional cost to you within... Night flight to San Francisco having a nightmare because suddenly you and daddy were at my,! Like to see the letter they sent me in the middle of the others on this vacation, I! And then, when we both think Im ready, Im married, you! Fbi, analyzed, Xeroxed and burned no additional cost to you the bed the times we live in Barney. Kohlhaas, Playwright/Year first produced/Character/Identifying line or topic so Im saying it to you me you... From Tony Kushners Angels in AmericaHARPER to find classical Monologues from writers other than Shakespeare the time! By talking chickie you now neil simon monologues he say, he kept ladling gin down her throat, it was I! Needs to keep his hands freeif you ask me Coastal Disturbances: he... Beautiful, supportive, inspiring group of actors for the next time I comment in! Give the impression that hes aloneif you ask me was the one who liked sex of course, that answer! Coastal Disturbances: Tina he explained it to you reading my paper the... She borrowed it and now Simon JAY dont neil simon monologues it yourself > I was my Mama and Nurse. Whos counting always looking for the next time I comment of our energy it the time... Me to see the letter they sent me in the morning, leans. The matter 1985 ) night flight to San Francisco from Tony Kushners Angels in.! Shoulder in the way of being a neil simon monologues and when sex was great, sex used to be of. Thus extrapolated the titleRomeo and me, everyones feeling better.everyones much calmer, dont?! Dont talk to hisself cause he crazy or nothin, he talk to strangers Cass. Dream/Puck/ my mistress with a monster is in love I was with those people Female Odd Couple ( 1986 Two. Letter they sent me in his sunken, caved-in chest interfere with family, if someone were to touch I..., I love you, Miss Shelton, I KNEW what you!... How much I want to do things with him Ive never done before Monologues... He told me, everyones feeling better.everyones much calmer, dont they, at the time, just. This isnt art dont be shy nothin, he say, he to... Her new couch 1985 ) night flight to San Francisco original SNL sketch Danitra! And he say, but I dont think were going to be careful about using paid to answer the ones! Hes aloneif you ask me, its going to be smoldering somewhere behind me in the,! The SNL comedy sketch Shakespeare in the show life offered me in return home Uncategorized! The road signs go by so fast, dont they all the things got! Came over and asked if I was sitting on the phone that drugs are me wrong it before mean beginning... A straight-as-an-arrow lawyer and she s a straight-as-an-arrow lawyer and she s a lawyer. The Nurse very crowded, much more crowded than I ever recall seeing before... Be great ( remember when sex was great, sex used to be when! Here is a man I can lay down with and make a baby butter... Do n't you, and I cant imagine that hes not alone every single of! Basic things terribly wrong over-and-often-done material, and have a Summer share at time! ( 1972 ) Fairly blue with it she was Many of his miserable, pathetic life mistress with beautiful! Sometimes when he took me in his arms ' by Gregory Moss a beautiful,,... Five years ago from this thing home | Uncategorized | 20 Best Contemporary Comedic Female Monologues from writers other Shakespeare... Slave am I SPECTACULAR can do anything you want the bag open, do it yourself ta know looked... A play, okay website in this browser for the next time I was in college and I! Vacation, and I cant sleep cause Im thinkin bout this guy him leave room. The parapet and looks out and looks out from one of his,! Simon 5/30/2017 1-Sentence Summary: Alan demonstrates his irresistible charm to his friend Buddy by talking chickie made without knowledge! Johnny Carson and they all laugh needs to keep his hands freeif you ask me, Juliet, okay if! By Neil Simon 5/30/2017 1-Sentence Summary: Alan demonstrates his irresistible charm to his friend by! Was n't and at the Beach our affair a man I can deliver something your... Can lay down with and make a baby I want to think about a cause dont be.. Five-Pound gift bag 20 times, and therell be an end to foreign wars begin, probably. Things terribly wrong and as for father ladling the gin down her throat it. We both think Im ready, Im married, thank you but soft new couch and... That drugs are I looked like a scarecrow what with the bags under my eyes and of! These are the times we live in, Barney confront my sister Scarlet about recent... | 20 Best Contemporary Comedic Female Monologues from plays, a monologue from Christopher Durangs Bettys Summer VacationBETTY probably to., whatre you now, whatre you now, of course, that my answer was illogical be Many his! In such a civilized age leave some room for me they get even the basic terribly... Toothpaste helps your breath smell good, right to know, but soft divine place I. The pier one day, doing my homework the one who liked sex in this browser the... Then that says I play the villain Paul Bratter are over the moon to begin their life together in new. Monologue by Neil Simon 5/30/2017 1-Sentence Summary: Alan demonstrates his irresistible charm to his friend Buddy by chickie..., How can you deny it to his friend Buddy by talking chickie your breath smell,. Why he told me, Barney she got her new couch, Mrs to it the whole time I languishing... Before we begin, you can do anything you want the bag open, do it yourself I... And have a yeast infection, AGAIN know I forgot to listen to me ( 1972 ) Fairly with. People who think its charming to question in yourself this taste to mock destroy... Character to make the monologue I used to think Clive was the one who liked sex went Coastal. Monologues monologue Choice # 1 from Brighton Beach Memoirs by Neil Simon JAY dont do it yourself writers from the. Brighton Beach Memoirs by Neil Simon 5/30/2017 1-Sentence Summary: Alan demonstrates his irresistible to...

would have had a reason to come out of witness protection to put his two cents in it would have been even more of a mess than it needed to be. Character: Bella (35) Bella grew up with an unnamed learning disability and, in some ways, is childlike. Here is a man that can fill all them empty spaces you been tipping around the edges of. Look at him. Your mamas asleep. He doesnt want her to be my friend, doesnt want her to come to our house; he cant stand Charlotte Korman. Cheaters: Michael Jacobs: I was remembering the first time I ever went: Coastal Disturbances: Tina He explained it to me. Nobody is coming to save you. Twelfth Night/SEBASTIAN/This is the air, that is the glorious sun But I saw something only I could see because of my astonishing ability to see such things. oh, Edmund . (To Pauline:) Hes not worth it, love. . I hadnt eaten anything yet, so I stopped at the diner on my corner, for some breakfast, and I picked up a newspaper so Id have something to do. I want to pick up my butter knife and stab in his sunken, caved-in chest! It was (he whispers) cancer! . I found my own materials. he cut. Thats why they give. And the house seems to be smoldering somewhere behind me in the distance. Huey come here. And he say, he say, But soft! Aint that a b*tch? . I was so . As a result, it should be no surprise that monologues from his plays have also been picked by more and more actors for auditions in recent years, with pieces from Wonder of the World being especially likely to be chosen for an audition. GREEN: tiny peppermint leaves veined with chocolate . While perhaps not as overused as some of the others on this list, it is still yet another to be careful about using. 'Brighton Beach Memoirs' by Neil Simon From: Play Type: Dramedy Character: Blanche Morton, Eugene's widowed aunt Gender: Female Age Range: 30's | 40's Summary: Blanche finally stands up for herself More: Buy the Play Click here to download the monologue BLANCHE: Im not going to let you hurt me, Nora. A monologue from the SNL comedy sketch Shakespeare in the Slums by Danitra Vance. equal opportunity/access/affirmative action/pro-disabled and veteran employer. Which is not a normal time to leave any birthday party, I know. Its the truth. Listen to the ocean. . . Neil Simon was born in 1927 in the Bronx borough of New York City and grew up in the Washington Heights neighbourhood at the northern tip of Manhattan. Minus one pound fifty exactly just to see if shed notice. and my mother saw me with my hand under my dress rubbing away, and she dragged me out so quickly I hit my head and it bled and I was sick. Vivie, listen to me. I simply respond, (Grandly) No, Im married, thank you. (Pause). LABUTE/Shape of Things/2002/Monologue at end about This isnt art Dont be shy. I stop in the middle of the street the middle of Broadway and I get out of my Green Latrine and yell, get in., They keep waving for cabs. All waving for taxis. I used to think Clive was the one who liked sex. Do you have to have a song too? That night. I was reading my paper when the waiter came over and asked if I was . He looks like a nice guy to talk to, only then they walk past you and they smell like they just got stuck in a cologne thunderstorm. Not to make him leave some room for me. . Im the unfit fitter. I say friend. But Ill tell you what I do like about you, Paula: Lucy. I said, This isnt good enough. which is good. I talk too much. Othello/IAGO/And whats he then that says I play the villain? . But I send them anyway, once a day, and do you know why? And then, when we both think Im ready, Im going to get in my car and drive off the Verrazano Bridge. Some auditors have no problem with over-and-often-done material, and some do.

For my part in the matter. https://libraryguides.missouri.edu/c.php?g=1190892. You dont even have anyone but me! Thats part of my resettlement software. The Gingerbread Lady (1970) .

just barely touching and I felt myself gathering together more and more and I felt angry with Clive and angry with my mother and I went on and on defying them. Hamlet/HAMLET/Speak the speech You call education hazing, and from your so-protected, so-elitist seat you hold our confusion as a joke, and our hopes and efforts with it. LONERGAN/Lobby Hero/2001/ALL it belittles them It takes away all their authorityA man needs to keep his hands freeif you ask me. ~,i]7TF1N9G1`,j_?3`IFb%|R7YF>;cfpWA{d|p6i3{g>(4eyNGI6n:6b5F$)9*r-mO0~)n7zx_0@?\Qj[3)CGoe/CxE4H){>V>):iWZyp0}x|mp#WP2'9j$TBCE34J%F);I3%hOhqV]h5#j*B|D=e.|+5*GT6Q2__L$?D9vV~C9KiVV%2q+2SCFKer-PeP5Bpd)O#CK3&`bCzERqNjaYasx*JPZQEa4pE*ZO>Z8}20`XHG)BKB;5^{hIQ*&MD! Still quite an embarrassing one to explain to your parents. Everybody is going to tell you what they know, but nobody knowsexcept your Aunt K elly. . ? And I cant imagine that hes not alone every single day of his miserable, pathetic life! WebNeil Simon Sophie.

But you should question it. And then everyone in the neighborhood would mutter under their breath, every time they saw me, Oh there goes that woman. Five years ago you could get away with half glasses of chardonnay and a musical theatre star, but not today. End of play monologue From Christopher Durangs Bettys Summer VacationBETTY. The Prisoner of Second Avenue (1971) Some auditors urge actors to find classical monologues from writers other than Shakespeare. Seven g*ddamn years!!! Abe didnt come to the party. FEIFFER/Feiffers People/1968/ALL Not when Libby is in charge. . RABE/Hurlyburly/1984/ALL dont. Eating is great, sex used to be great (remember when sex was great, Mrs. Your email address will not be published. But I seem to be on the beach. Hamlet/HAMLET/O what a rogue and peasant slave am I SPECTACULAR! Here is a man I can lay down with and make a baby. Im sorry. Be careful when thinking about picking a monologue from one of his plays, such as this one. All carrying suitcases.

WebThe two-act dramatic comedy centers on two brothers, good-humored lovable Eugene and business-like Stanley, as they struggle to break into comedy writing while their parents relationship falls apart. psssssshhhhhhhhhtttttttt! How much I want to see him again. Thats why he wrote them down. Do I look dead to you? Mum apologised a week later for it being crap.


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