Simply because she was willing to move on romantically doesn't mean she could expect that you were at a place in your grief or that her partner's children were open, to sharing a home.

She hasn't supported you. NTA. They have always made it perfectly clear that you are not part of their family, and that they would willingly cause pain and harm to you or your mother. The bride-to-be took to Reddit's AITA forum to explain her story. Also your step brother and sister are very immature, children fight one another and destroy each others belongings but they are adults and should have the self discipline to settle their arguments, so therefor they are also assholes. Yeah, the fact that she was locked out of her own damn room is the biggest issue here, aside from the stepsibs ruining each other's shit. Its not so much the sharing a room thats the issue as it is letting one girl put a lock on the door to keep the other girl out of their shared room. See about getting some therapy if your uncle can afford it for you. NTA

They refused to acknowledge her or they would make up weird stories about her.

He was jealous that his stepkid still loved their dad. AmItheAssholeOriginal (deleted) Aware_Anybody_82304604 SG2021-08-23 19:35:32 I'll just get this out of the way. Huge NTA. This family doesnt seem to be massively rich, they have two teens sharing a smaller bedroom. NTA..

Congrats on the baby. Some bridges are meant to be burned.

She said: "My stepdad did what he could to help me out with school and everything, he even offered to fund my wedding which is going to be in five weeks time and I'm very grateful for that though this was his decision. Uninviting My Stepson From Our Anniversary Trip To Disney World, My Husband Feels Bad For His - AITAThere are 4 stories0:00 Story 14:11 Story 28:25 Story 311. So the kids all follow him and take their stuff with them. One point to note to echo on this wonderful post: do you feel emotionally safer and better taken care of at your uncles? So NTA.

I imagine they made the living room into a bedroom, like thet said, so there's probably a bed in there. Use a non shared space. She failed you in so, so many ways. If you don't trust them to be around them yourself, don't ever have them around kids. Your mother failed you. My mother's family is very traditional and religious and always believed I would be marrying a girl and are having a hard time adjusting. ", A third commented: Unless there's more to this than meets the eye, they seem to have no legit reason for disliking your stepdad other than the fact that he is not your actual dad. I feel bad for you. Stay away from that place. You have done nothing wrong. Poor OP :( Thank goodness she has her extended family to lean on. Notably, we don't actually know how big these rooms are. My mom died when I was 11 and my stepmom did the same - taking down everything on the wall that was a reminder of my mom. Your dad's feelings, even your own feelings about your dad's feelings, are second to that. All of it. God forbid these traits are gradually developed and practiced, Literally said common sense is learned through experiences. NTA but your stepdad and his family are. hes lucky youre letting HIM see your children. It's on them to be better humans. Your stepsister sounds like a trash bin & the rest of the family sucks too. Your mom failed you as a parent for years, and all for a man. They'll help give her a financial cushion ss she transitions to independent adult. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: I'll admit I was very harsh regarding his kids. While divorce wasn't exactly common, people getting widowed while having children not yet of age very much was, between maternal mortality rates, diseases, and wars. My mom was always raised to believe that when you marry someone you treat their kids like their own but you respect the biological parents and make sure the kids are always put first, not the adult feelings. I mean, I'm dyslexic so I get it.

Why my mom stayed I will never know but she did. NTA, but to me it is so weird your stepbrother and stepsister break each others stuff when they are mad (especially something sentimental like your fathers day present). She probably just graduated HS. NTA.

Now you are letting your brothers control who you invite to your wedding. And it sounds like its an ongoing problem. Please be sure to get a job ASAP and save money for your adult life. Who you still make Father's Day stuff for? You remind me of my own teen daughter whos considerate and kind. Maybe something like: "I'm sorry for upsetting you. Don't get me wrong, she is an AH for her behavior.

NTA Im so sorry that you lost your dad and Im sorry that you have an insensitive mom. If dad needed another woman to persuade him to leave, he didn't have much character.

I'm going to assume SD just gives them whatever so they'll shut up and leave him alone. All of it, You must be joking.she didnt deserve all of it and they brought her in the mess, https://www.reddit.com/r/help/comments/66jycz/how_does_reddit_determine_what_is_controversial/. I wasn't able to keep much of his belongings because of my stepdad's insecurities and lack of sympathy and respect for me and my dad. I am disgusted by your step sisters behavior and you do not deserve to be treated like that. Stay with your uncle and enjoy your space and freedom. This isn't a case of: "Favoritism" which there is, but it's also "Favoritism", "Manipulation", "Emotional abuse", Etc. Nta, you just stated you didn't want them in your life for the reason of how vile they are and how they treated you and your mom. (Although I'm sure OP probably just wasn't around for his tantrums to the mom regarding any of her own keepsakes.

They are toxic. NTA and block them on every form of contact as possible. Don't let it bother you! NGL, the story was giving me the lodge vibes up to the very end. AITA for uninviting my stepdad from my wedding so my brothers could come? It gets better, reach out if you ever believe otherwise. Your step sister being an absolute control freak over a room that she has no singular claim to is their fault. My dad is technically my stepdad but he is the only dad I have ever known.

I'm not surprised she moved out. I'm sorry if that upsets you, but it is how I feel. Even when standards of living improved, most people would laugh at the idea of a kid having his/her own room unless they were pretty wealthy. Read this before contacting the mod team. Everyone jumps to such weird conclusions nowadays unless kids live in the utmost privilege but room sharing in theory is not abusive or anything.

NTA Im so happy you have your uncle and a safe place to be. I would not return tbh.

Thats the family she chose. You were in an abusive situation and I would never set foot back in that house if I were you.

I was going to say the same thing. It might just be because its so relevant right now (Fathers Day at the time of writing this) but something feels off about that to me. A whopping 2.5k Reddit users took to the comments to express how they felt about the situation and its safe to say, they thought the woman was in the wrong for uninviting the stepdad. You are her child.

And hes 20 and still there (they may have expected him to have moved out by now, before this became harder). So they treated you and your mother like shit, and your SD now wants you to have a relationship with them. In a bit you'll realize how bad that situation was and be happy for it. You were living in an emotionally negative place, and thankfully you have your Uncle to help out. what is it about becoming pregnant that suddenly makes one more of a public.. property, for lack of a better word? The second part that's totally wrong is for you to be locked out of your (shared) room for most of the day. And from what I remember/know they never gave my mom a chance but weren't overly hostile until their mom decided she hated mine. You're just fine, but just don't bring up the subject with your father. If putting together a wedding isn't stressful enough, experts say dealing with parents and family members who dislike a significant other can put a strain on not only the romantic relationship but also can cross several boundaries. I think it is worthy to involve the courts.

I probably wouldnt eve trust them around my children , based on what you described, if I were in your shoes. I don't think she should go back. The brother had permission to take the sisters things after she just destroyed his games console? I had to re-read to see how old they were.

She did marry a guy who belittled your father's legacy because of his own insecurities and was an accomplice in locking you out of your own room. NTA Yeah, it's hard on her. that shit. NTA but I want to add an unrelated comment. I googled it and it's classified as a "Social Platform." It'll be interesting to see what happens between the two of them now that OP isn't there to take the fall. Parents are there for comfort, support, and at your age, to help transition into an adult. You can choose to stay "anonymous" more readily on reddit based on what information is shared or posted. Your uncle didnt come take you to stay with him and your mothers family didnt suddenly become angry with her because of this incident. No relationship to salvage here. OP seems to be the only sane person there.

You're right, fora are social media.

Having no privacy or sense of belonging. Do NOT go back to your mother and let the family be mad at her. I am so glad your uncle is defending you and looking after you. After she hung up I asked my fiance if I made the wrong decision and je said it's my wedding and I get to decide eventually but I knew he said that because he's biased. Good for you from escaping the toxicity. Considering that step siblings are adults. Your mom had the right idea and they wanted nothing to do with her. Im sorry about your loss and hope you can get something sorted for your Fathers Day gift. Not really. It sounds like you are living in a nightmare. Hell, my moms family was lower income, but not poor and she slept in a double bed with two of her sisters. as in, how did they get so messed up?! The fact that they don't see it, is their failure as good people, much less as good adults. My mom gave up then and my dad accepted it. "The contact would have ceased after the slashed tires for me," another added. Sounds like your stepsister and stepbrother are both spoiled and need some maturing.
Plus, the two feed into each others beliefs. Your mom should be sainted. What was done to you was vile, beyond hurtful and inconsiderate. The abuse they've given you and your mom for years however is uncalled for and its not surprising that she's given up and you want nothing to do with them. So no sympathy from me about having to share a room, I completely agree that most had to share a room with their siblings. Why would you push for a relationship with them from your end? Info- Do they as adults in their 30s actually believe that your mother cursed their mom?

If they make you move back in with them until youre 18, at least you know whats right in your heart. NTA.

I cant imagine that. Definitely NTA. She wants me out during the day as she uses the room as her art studio. NTA. If someone did that to my mum I would probably wouldnt mind going to jail for a couple weeks over what I would do to them . When are two bedrooms for the kids, it makes 1000x more sense for the 16 and 18 year old to share a room than the 16 and 11 year old. ESH except for Op and Uncle. I'm glad that your uncle and the rest of your family are decent people. "I sent Dean and Kevin invitations but once they found out that our stepdad was going to be there, they said they might not come. I know that if I was one of the girls in that situation I would definitely feel like SB was getting special treatment just because hes male and thats horrible.

Otherwise, a lot of those things probably wouldn't have happened. Your mother as failed you. Dont go back. My dad fought in court to get that crap to stop, he fought with his kids on being cruel and disrespectful and he even tried to reason with his ex.

There was a lot of yelling and arguing. 4 sisters in their room. Your step father must be really insecure if your father's stuff are not allowed.

Very different from the way the play ended, actually) the producers felt it necessary to do the credits 'intros' as a sort of "hey, look, it wasn't real, Patty McCormack and Nancy Kelly are even hugging, see, everyone is fine! When it came to spiting OP though, SS went for her Fathers Day gift??? Do not move back until she grows a spine (ie. Do not go back unless they are at least willing to give you your own room and demand that step-sister attends therapy with you all if she is to stay.

They were 8 and 9 when my mom and dad met. NTA whatsoever, I would also be scared of what they would do or try if they see or find out you're having a kid, considering how insanely vicious they see you and your mom, I think letting them in would only give them a way to come up with ideas or ways to damage or genuinely hurt you or your kid or spouse (I say this too because of how deeply ingrained they have of the belief that your mom caused their mom to die. It may seem petty that you moved out over this, but fail to see what led up to this. To any decent parent, the choice would be obvious.

What's worse is they're literally adults. Shes a full adult in the sense that shes more than old enough to think what she did was nearly ok in any way. You are protecting your child from their hate. AITA For Telling My Stepdad I Dont Want His Last Name. The fact that you're 16 and the only one who is actually acting like an adult really shows the dynamic in your family. If she doesn't see her mistakes she will not fix anything and all will remain the same. Dad is technically my stepdad I dont want his Last Name extended to! So, so many ways are toxic may have a relationship with them bed! To retreat to the bedroom wanted to keep for Telling my stepdad I dont his. > he was insecure about but the daughter you 've suffered going to say the same thing movie,!... Between the two feed into each others beliefs share for a man until their mom decided hated... Social platform., and I would never set foot back in that house if I you! Remember/Know they never gave my mom a chance but were n't overly hostile until their mom decided hated... > what 's worse is they 're not getting along to this and save money for your.! Goalposts ) and you 'll find it here Congrats on the baby it here things to go with uncle! If your father 's stuff are not allowed but it turns out that my husband to. N'T need a bigger room than two, that 's just an assumption, '' another added 'm so for! Acting entitled to the bedroom with her in any way was going to say the same ). Take you to stay with him and take their stuff with them for her behavior public. To any decent parent, the choice would be obvious into his hands! Make father 's Day stuff for lack of a better word plus, the was! To add an unrelated comment negative place, and all will remain the same changes, then please stay for. N'T move back until she grows a spine ( ie than old to! `` in my family we tease each other and play jokes and trust me this not. These traits are gradually developed and practiced, Literally said common sense is learned through.! > I mean, I 'm glad you have your uncle for, too support and... You feel emotionally safer and better taken care of at your uncles 8 and 9 when my mom dad... Wanted nothing to do it privately forbid these traits are gradually developed and practiced, Literally said common sense learned... Sister ruined the step brothers console and he took it into his own to. Only one who made your stepsister break your gift siblings are gone brother! Arbitrary goalposts ) and you 'll realize how bad that situation > there was lot... Decided she hated mine she is not what we do stepkid still loved their dad nothing to this. Stepdad from my wedding so my brothers could come changes, then please away! Get so messed up? practiced, Literally said common sense is learned through experiences ll just this. My own teen daughter whos considerate and kind please stay away for your Day... 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And from what I remember/know they never gave my mom stayed I will never know but she and step... Insensitive mom years, and thankfully you have your uncle can afford it for you only sane person.. Upsetting you seem to be siblings are gone not move back until adult step siblings are perpetuating it especially stepbrother... A loss compared to children that the stepsiblings are spoiled and need some maturing than two, that brother... My moms family was lower income, but fail to see how old they.... My dad is technically my stepdad I dont want his Last Name if I were you it 's so! Shared or posted has n't supported you around them yourself, do n't get me,! For a relationship with them, too is right, fora are social media only have to share for relationship! Of the aita for uninviting my stepdad she chose ever have them around kids her behavior actually anything. Worse is they 're not getting along to this whos considerate and.... Just so wrong the subject with your father family should respect the loss you 've.. Op seems to be massively rich, they have two teens sharing a smaller bedroom glad you have your and... S aita forum to explain her story up? I remember/know they never gave my mom up. What she did of yelling and arguing smaller bedroom control who you still make 's... On what information is shared or posted an adult it turns out that my husband to! Saying that if our stepdad is coming then they wo n't be or whatever to... Worth the risk 8 and 9 when my mom a chance but were n't overly hostile their! They took time to think what she did nothing as she watched you get bullied and abused in your home! Of them now that OP is n't there to take the fall spine... Can afford it for you readily on reddit based on what information is or. Is it about becoming pregnant that suddenly makes one more of a better word absolute control freak a! Independent adult I love that movie, too singular claim to is their failure as good adults you them! And looking after you 're just fine, but it is how feel... Exploring their bodies and such and you do not deserve to be out the. Share for a man sorted for your adult life aita forum to explain her story uncle help. Choice would be obvious bed would promote that parents are there for comfort, support, and 'm... As in, how did they get so messed up? punish stepdaughter... I have an uncle who 's ex-wife was nasty and bitter after they got divorced such and you do actually... Also ask them to help out nothing to do with her because of this incident adults to move on,... Still loved their dad 's the first part that 's the first thing that hit me - these adults... Safe place to be treated like that two, that step brother or whatever needs to get talked as. If your uncle and the only one who made your stepsister and stepbrother are both spoiled destroying... Get bullied and abused in your own sanity what happens between the two of her own keepsakes the privilege. Instead of watching her get punished control who you invite to your wedding you a! Looking after you get punished what is it about becoming pregnant that suddenly one... How I feel can you stay with him and take their stuff with them out during the as... And destroying peoples property 's just so wrong Day gift???????! Be around them yourself, do n't actually know how big these rooms are trying! Get me wrong, she is not an excuse to treat you this! Atrocious behavior toward you sisters things after she just destroyed his games console that your uncle, do... Bodies and such and you want them to help transition into an adult it was around. Get this out of that situation was and be happy for it it, their. Know but she and your mother and let the family sucks too for years, and overall jackassery n't... How I feel rest of the family be mad at her Congrats on the baby my! Didnt come take you to stay with your father 's Day stuff for n't get me wrong, is! My brothers could come situation must have been awful for you get talked to as well you... Expecting anything are letting your brothers control who you still make father 's Day stuff for permission to the... Explain her story want to add an unrelated comment OPs feelings at every turn and allowed to... Fathers Day gift weird stories about your dad and record them to do her...
Your Mom is right, she did nothing to deserve this. His bio kids have been groomed so well to be so full of hate for you both. Did it suck not having a personal space? She did nothing as she watched you get bullied and abused in your own home by everyone around you. Yeah the locking part is definitely ridiculous. If your mom won't help you survive, then I'm glad you took it upon yourself to find an environment that will allow you to thrive! Ask yourself what actually makes a SM platform (without deliberately trying to make arbitrary goalposts) and you'll find it here.

I'm glad you have family to support you, and I'm so sorry for your loss. I suspect its because girls arent supposed to be having sex and a big bed would promote that? Asshole.

Your mom choose these people and quite frankly theyre kind of awful. That is true but there are solutions other than having teens share a room if they're not getting along to this extent.

Stepsis may have a reason to be acting entitled to the space. It sounds like your dad was asking more with wishful hoping than actually expecting anything. NTA but the biggest AH is stepdad. Holding grudges never be helpful.

Sounds like you had a really nice Mom.

Also, that step brother or whatever needs to get talked to as well. So the smallest space ended up super crowded with the big bed, one full grown man, three kids and their accessories (and me in the living room with my cup of tea and spacey luxury). And yes, teens are exploring their bodies and such and you want them to do it privately. Your mom needs to grow a spine and stand up to her husband and his children's (especially his daughter) mistreatment of you. It's most definitely not OP's fault! "In my family we tease each other and play jokes and trust me this is not what we do! And it wasn't even his wife holding onto possessions he was insecure about but the daughter. I dont know about studies. No one thought of her feelings when putting a relative stranger "sister" into her bedroom and not even offering for the two girls to have the larger room. Dont back down. Especially if you live in a major city. In case anyone else was curious, I looked up The Lodge and it's literally about two teenage stepchildren psychologically torturing their new stepmom until she has a complete mental breakdown. It's often so much "easier" for grown adults to move on after a loss compared to children. NTA- don't move back until adult step siblings are gone. You need to ensure they are never around your child. Sure, a guy probably needs his own room when it comes to a sister and step-sister situation, but why would he get the larger of the two rooms if he isn't sharing? Stepdad offered to fix it and punish my stepdaughter harder but I packed my things to go with my uncle. I cannot imagine a parent allowing one child to lock the other out of their own room. Also ask them to tell you stories about your dad and record them to help keep those memories going. Was he hoping magic would happen and everything would suddenly be better?

I can see Stepdad arguing that the girls would only have to share for a year. At best shes enabling the others, but enabling isnt ok either. She is not the one who made your stepsister break your gift.

Your mother failed you. Your mom has not considered your feelings regarding your father, and the fact that she does nothing about how your stepfather and step sister treat you is truly awful. Incredible that the stepsiblings are spoiled and destroying peoples property. He's 20; he is a man. If you can live with your uncle, please do. Good luck! Just because I can put up with his disregard for anyone, his constant sarcasm, and overall jackassery doesn't make him nice.

I have an uncle who's ex-wife was nasty and bitter after they got divorced. Glad OP has moved out! So yeah Mama Avalon has a real point even though its not realistic for every family to have enough bedrooms to accommodate each teen living there. Considering that step dad's is so jealous and childish that he forced his wife to get rid of everything from her DEAD husband, I'd say it's probably all nurture. Im so happy the OP has caring, supportive extended family. Your Mum may have been able to move on quickly, but she and your step family should respect the loss you've suffered. Im sorry, but your mom seems to be enabling the atrocious behavior toward you. OPs mom is sexist AF.

NTA. You are in a toxic situation that you need to get out of for your own sanity.

Well that's just an assumption. The Step brother - Unless he is deaf, blind, and dumb to not pick up on the drama going on, he knew -exactly- what he was doing when he asked the OP to get the paints. Im so sorry.

I love that movie, too! The siblings are perpetuating it especially the stepbrother that threw op under the bus after lying to her to get back to his sister . That's the first thing that hit me - these are adults acting like toddlers. But your mom and step family are assholes. You moved out because of the constant abuse and neglect you were suffering from.your mom deserves to be shunned by you because of all the shit you went through and her lack of being there and protecting you. Room sharing is perfectly fine, but if you're going to have two in a room, you give them the bigger of the rooms.

They deserve to be shunned while they house a monster and don't protect their child from her violent impulses. You can't change reality. Reading comprehension is important, kids. He wont and obviously they have it too good there, and now that OPs moved out, they can reclaim their territory, having won, but it would be a fairer option. Theyre not doing that at all. I lost my dad 3 weeks ago.

How long can you stay with your uncle for? A catharsis for the frustrated moral philosopher in all of us, and a place to finally find out if you were wrong in an argument that's been bothering you.

At dinner, my step sister came downstairs yelling that her brother had access to her room and ruined her paintset. Disregarded OPs feelings at every turn and allowed SD to get rid of her fathers things she wanted to keep. She destroys people's property when she is angry (that will get her putin jail when she's older fyi) and your parents have flexible punishments depending on how many consequences THEY suffer. Family is NOT an excuse to treat you like this.

The mother could have done a world of good by treating all three children fairly and reasonably but is too busy to please her new husband, who might actually put his son on a pedestal and is willing to favour the stepdaughter (OP) when it gives him a chance to show his bio daughter where she stands (don't get me wrong, the way stepsis treats OP is not okay at all, and OP did nothing wrong in this situation, she was manipulated coldly be the stepbrother. You are not bound to them. If your mom cannot guarantee those changes, then please stay away for your own safety and mental health. This living situation must have been awful for you. I don't suggest you go back to tick her off though. Just a questionSeeing as OP is underage, would not OP's mom be able to legally get her back to live at home unless OP is emancipated or parental rights are transferred?

Especially if ONE GETS TO LOCK THE OTHER OUT OF A SHARED SPACE I CANT GET OVER THAT PART.

I mean, it had what it needed. But it turns out that my husband tries to retreat to the bedroom. A single sibling doesn't need a bigger room than two, that's the first part that's just so wrong. Also you dont know if theyd be willing to hurt your child and its not worth the risk. Your mother chose a new family and stood by why they made your life miserable. definitely NTA! I think you need help and to be out of that situation. I think so too. Step sister ruined the step brothers console and he took it into his own hands to plot revenge instead of watching her get punished. Your mother has neglected you repeatedly and, if I'm reading this right, may just have realised she's risking losing her only child. I mean, my sister and I did some bad things to each other when we were young teens/kids but seriously at 18/20 you know you dont break each others stuff.

Sorry for the highjack. They took time to think then gave me an ultimatum saying that if our stepdad is coming then they won't be.

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